The interview
by Zorble
Summary: Banjo and Kazooie find themselves hurled into a documentary that discusses the finer points of their life, past, and friendship.


I want to delve into the relationship between Banjo and Kazooie, and thought this would be an excellent way to explain how they met. WARNING!! May contain spoilers, stupidity, and hateful references to Billy Mays.

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Banjo went to the moat to wash himself after breakfast. He had fixed pancakes that morning, but decided that in the future, he should hold up on the syrup. It hadn't helped that Kazooie suddenly decided to start a food fight, and had hurled soggy, sticky pancakes everywhere. But not being one to spoil the fun, he had fired off a few at her as well. The selfsame bird was busy cleaning up the mess she had made.

He stuck his face in the water and shook his head, relishing the cool feel on his face. It felt so refreshing!

He resurfaced, dripping wet, and shook the water out of his eyes. Looking up, he saw that the sun was high in the sky, and there were no clouds. "Maybe we'll go on a little adventure today," he said to himself.

"Well, there you have it, folks!" said a very obnoxious voice right behind him. The poor bear's heart nearly failed in shock. He had thought he was completely alone. Turning, he found an entire news crew right behind him, setting up lights, cameras, wires, and those umbrella things that bounce light.

"Wh-what's going on?" he said nervously.

A news reporter with a trench coat and a matching hat turned turned away from a camera he had been grinning and showing his sparkling white teeth into, and faced Banjo. "Why, we're making a documentary!" he said with a laugh that was so fake it made Banjo's fur crawl, "sorry, but I don't think we caught your name, mr. Banjo."

"Uh... I'm Banjo," he said confused.

The reporter whipped back around to face the camera, "Well, there you have it folks!" he said again displaying his immaculate smile, "this bear's name, is indeed, Banjo! It's just our luck that we found him. Tell me," he held the microphone down to the honey bear without riveting his eyes from the camera lens, "what do you do for a living?"

"N-nothing, really," he replied uncertainly, "I-I live in that house over th-"

"Did you hear that?" said the news reporter in mock surprise, "he lives in a house! Why, you wouldn't happen to be THE Bear in the Big Blue House, would you?"

"...no..."

"Oh. Shame. Well, let's have a look, shall we?" He turned and strode purposefully into the house.

"Hey!" called Banjo, running after them, "You can't just go in there!"

"Watch me," said the reporter with a grin and a wink to the camera. He opened the door, stooped down, and entered the house.

"Augh. Well, as you can see, it's a bit small in here," he told the camera, "what's this? A bird? What's your name, bird?"

Kazooie stared at the man, momentarily lost for words (something she wasn't accustomed to.) "I... Kazooie. Why–"

"There you have it folks!" said the reporter cheerfully again, "Kazooie, and my, what a pretty name it is. Tell me, Kazooie, do you happen to know a bear named Banjo?"

"Maybe. Who wants to know?"

The reporter stood straight up, breaking a very large hole in the ceiling. He assumed an Elvis like position and stated in a deep and important voice, "I'm the one and only Mike McJurkle, sanitary reporter to the masses, official pain in the rear, and most noted for having beaten Billy Mays in a screaming match!"

The other workers stopped whatever they were doing and cheered, then went back to their jobs.

Satisfied that he had made a good enough introduction of himself, he stooped back down and shoved the microphone in the bird's face. "So what species of bird are you, Miss Kazooie? Can I call you Kaz?"

"N–"

"Great! So, Kaz, what kind of bird are you?"

"Get that crap outta my face!" she spat, and shoved the microphone away from her beak. "I'm a breegull."

"What kind of breegull?"

"Red Crested. Why?"

"We're making a documentary on your video game series, and you and your cuddly little Bear are going to star in it!"

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Oh, I love Mike. Stereotypical shameless reporter. Ah, ya gotta love it.

Please read and review.


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